Christmas is suppose to be a fun and festive time of year. However, for some, Christmas and the end of year isn’t fun and festive because they choose to finish the year on a low rather then a high. Yes; I said choose.
I said choose, because you choose your attitude; and choose what you focus on at this time of the year. You can focus on how ‘busy’ you are, and how you ‘dislike’ all these social occasions, or dislike spending so much money etc.
The end of the year and beginning of the new year is the perfect time to work on your growth mindset and reframe thinking that could put a dampener on the festive season and the new year.
Here are my tips for reframing after the usual end of year reflection so you can start the new year believing in possibilities rather than problems.
What can you stop doing?
Remove Regret
At this time of year do you make the following statements?
• “I wish I spent more time…….
• “I wish I worked less……
• “I wish I had……..
Psychology Today (2012), describe regret is a negative cognitive/emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at what might have been or wishing we could undo a previous choice that we made.
Regret can have damaging effects on mind and body when it turns into destructive behaviours such as self-blame and continuous dwelling on the negative; as it impedes your ability to recover from a set back.
However, you can reframe the regret that often comes with reflection and turn it into a positive. Remove regret by reframing the situation
• what did you learn?
• were there any positives?
• what are you grateful for despite of the year’s challenges?
Crush Comparison
Constantly comparing yourself to others will trap you in a prison of insecurity. A natural human behaviour is only letting other’s see what we want them to see. So yes, we often put the best version’s of ourselves out there and hide the not so great version. Behind the person who has many positive social media post or conversation’s are also many struggles, and failures. Perhaps they are just trying to focus on their own positive mindset too? Either way, whatever the motivation is: it doesn’t matter. You are not them and they are not you. Do not let the lives or opinions of others define who you are. Crush the comparison.
What can you start doing?
Leverage the Lessons
If you start to focus on what didn’t work out or what you wish you had done - reframe it to find a learning. If you wish you did something and didn’t do it - why didn’t you do it?
• What got in the way?
• What can you do differently next time?
If you tried and failed; what happened?
• What can you do differently next time?
Develop an attitude of gratitude
Gratitude leads to many benefits such as improved self esteem, health, sleep and relationships. If you are struggling to find something to be grateful for - develop some gratitude prompts:
1 I am grateful for these three things in my home
2 I am grateful for these three people in my life
3 I am grateful for these three things during my day
Take time to think about those in your life who made, and continue to make a difference. Make time to thank them in person, or give thanks in a Christmas card or Christmas email.
Write down in a journal or make notes on your computer about what you are grateful for.
If you want a bit of fun - make a gratitude jar or box and put a note in each time for something you are grateful for. Once a week look in the jar/box and remind yourself what you have to be grateful for!
Yes it is the season for reflection! Reflect, reframe and reset for next year!
If you need a little help with reframing and developing positive steps for the new year. Reach out to me at connollycreatives@gmail.com or Liz Connolly at Creating You